Will My Teacher Rating Have a Sandy Variable?

So we're looking at missing at least a week of school where I am. That's a solid five days of test prep learning my students won't have compared to other students who are their "academic peers."

Well, if I'm going to be missing out on a merit pay bonus because my score doesn't take this into account, I think I'll have no choice but to sue!

So let's find a place in here somewhere:


To put in a "Sandy variable." It's only fair:


OK, now we can account for the fact my kids missed a week of test prep education when making my state-mandated evaluation. This is sure to be free of statistical noise and unaccounted variables now! I'm already feeling much more motivated...


(Did I make my point, or do I need to add some more snark?)